Table of Contents:

 1. TOC & Link to 5000 Dollar Album

 2. Motivational Jargon

 3. Recording Artist or Celebrity?

 6. Kudos Diana Krawl

 7. Texas Chili Cook-Off (sent in)

10. Understanding Sensual Art
 
11. The Charts
1


Have you been victimized by motivational jargon?
“You become what you think about!”
“You can do anything you can dream!”

NONSENSE.
Here is better advice…

“Dreaming too much is not normal.”
“Don’t think BIG, think MEDIUM.”
“Go to work on time, watch television and
have children. It is important that you
have kids, so that the next wealthy
generation can have a larger working
class to help make them wealthier.”

Society promotes mediocre thoughts and
aspirations. There are countless
opportunities for people who just want a
teeny-tiny piece of the American dream.
Those, whom refuse to settle for less than
they are worth, can easily become victims
of motivational jargon.


(e.g. Future celebrities, Future Recording Artists)
If you are an aspiring celebrity,
the next two lessons are for you…
4
One…
Celebrities are born though a process called personal branding. There are
many books written on the subject. You need to learn how celebrities are
created. Going to the studio is a waist of your time.


Two…
If you have already recorded, but want to be a celebrity; you promote yourself
first and your album later. Consider the number of hip-hop artists that appear
on Billboards, MTV, and are mentioned on other stars albums before theirs is
even released. Think about the number of pop-stars that got their start on the
Mickey Mouse Club, or some other Disney show. Get famous first; then go to
the studio.



Media corporations have led Americans to believe that recording artists and
celebrities are the same thing. This misconception ruins people’s careers.


Check out a real recording artist on YouTube...











_________________________
#1     T.I.
Whatever You Like

#2     Pink
So What

#3     Kanye West
Forever

#4     Rihanna
Disturbia

#5     Taylor Swift
Love Story
T.I. is signed to Atlantic Records.
(Time Warner)

Pink is signed to La Face Records.
(Sony/BMG)

Kanye West is signed to Rock-A-Fella/Def-Jam
(Universal/Vivendi)

Rihanna is signed to Def Jam Records.
(Universal/Vivendi)

Taylor Swift is signed to Big Machine Records.
(Universal/Vivendi)


Katy Perry is signed to Jive Records.
(Sony/BMG)

Lil Wayne is signed to Cash Money Records.
(Universal/Vivendi)

Chris Brown is signed to Zomba Records.
(Sony/BMG)

No industry for independent recording artists.
#1     Katy Perry
I Kissed a Girl

#2     Rihanna
Disturbia

#3     T.I.
Whatever You Like

#4    Lil Wayne
Got Money

#5     Chris Brown
Forever
Big Champagne
(Top 5 downloads)
Copyright Art Beyond Audio 2008
Once upon a time…


My friend’s girl told me that she wanted to be a professional recording artist. I
offered to make her a demo. I was invested in the biggest studio in town, so I
had unlimited access to it. Perhaps, I was showing off to my friend, or maybe it
was pouting lips on his fine-ass girlfriend, I am not sure what was going through
my head.

I contacted this great song writer who, luckily, owed me a favor. I also called in
my partner, Chris, to engineer. An excellent facility, a great song writer, a great
engineer, and me; this was an incredible opportunity for any aspiring recording
artist. I thought, “Who knows? Maybe she’ll end up with something she can
shop to record companies”. The songwriter came with three original songs, and
his guitar. He handed her the music, played and sang the songs; then, she
gave it a try.

At that moment, it occurred to that I had never actually seen this girl sing. In
hindsight, I am pretty sure that she had never sung before that moment; not in
elementary school, not in the shower, not at a birthday party, not ever. Why did
this girl want to become a recording artist? I went online and found out.

I typed “recording artist” in a Google image search, and here is what I found…

The 37th image was first to show a musician in a recording studio. The prior 36
were mostly pop-stars at award shows, album covers, or celebrities on red
carpets. Several of the celebrities were not even musicians. Evidently, the joke
was on me. I assumed people understood that being a profession recording
artist meant recording art professionally.

I still had a lot to learn.
Help Art Beyond Audio build Art Beyond Canvas.
Send $1.00
This Week - On The Charts

Billboard Hot 100
(Top 5)
11
Sent in this month...
(funny)
7
2


Do you dream of being a recording artist, or a celebrity?
3
Two lessons for the aspiring
recording artist...

One…
Painters seldom succeed after
completing their first painting. Authors
seldom succeed after writing their
first book. Yet, for some reason, you
expect to succeed immediately after
completing your first record. Read
about some of the great recording
artists of the 20th century. None of
them made it big after their first
attempt in the studio. Learn and
practice the art, develop your own
creative style and approach to it, and
eventually you will develop a following.


Two…
You should have a passion for
recording music. Professional
recording artists make records for a
living. Having their picture taken to
endorse other products is not their
primary role in society. Some have
done it to make more money, but then
they return to their passion which is
recording music.
By. Jason Alan Johnson
5
6
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other
mild foods not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing
behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT. just
like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
*****************************************************
CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the
cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no
longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics.
The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me
brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on
it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the
other judges asked me to stop screaming.
*****************************************************
Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting
from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.
The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be
standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck,
when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans)
that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have
free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
Here are the score card notes from the event:
*****************************************************
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
Judge #1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge #2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge #3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove
dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope
that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
Judge #1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeño tang.
Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge #3 -- Keep this out of reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed
to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the
Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on
my face.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have
been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer
before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the
front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk from all of the beer.
*****************************************************



CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...< /FONT>
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and
peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric
flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the
chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel
my lips anymore. I need to wipe my rear end with a snow cone.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers
at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He
appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't
feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of
rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my
mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy,
they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing its too painful. I'm not
getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole
in my stomach.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy
enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry
to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and
pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it.
Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

(Thanks Renee)
9
The Art Beyond Audio Group has disabled sensual website:
www.assinc.info,
though we have not lost the desire promote sensual art.

Understanding Sensual Art
Alexander Gofayzen
Check out these photographer's websites.
They are both brilliant artists.
D. Brian Nelson
This site contains work from countless
photographers from around the world!
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